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Worst.  Sunday.  Ever.

After dominating the regular season, my fantasy football team laid an egg in the semi-finals of the playoffs.  Things took a turn for the worst when the Packers announced that Aaron Rodgers would be inactive. 

Mid-way through the 11 a.m. games, I realized that I was going to lose.  This disappointed me, to say the least, but at least my child-hood team, the New York Giants, were CRUSHING the hated Philadelphia Eagles.  I mean, they were winning by 21 points with 7 minutes to play.  For those that aren't familiar with the rivalry, Eagles fans are the most obnoxious in the NFL.  THEY THREW SNOW BALLS AT SANTA CLAUSE!  So when Desean Jackson returned that punt for the game-winning touchdown as time expired, I was speechless.  It was the most epic collapse in my cognitive life (Being a strange hybrid of a Red Sox / Giants fan, I was also alive for the Bill Buckner play, but too young to remember it).

One of the coolest things about college is meeting people from all over the world.  But one of the worst parts:  you meet, and, in some unfortunate cases, become friends with Eagles fans.  When Philly stormed back to improbably beat my beloved Giants, my phone blew up like it was "my birthday" + "my dog died" + "Carrie Underwood had publicly admitted her love for me."  I wanted to throw up.  But instead, I called the only person that would be more miserable with the situation than me:  my Uncle. 

UD (stands for Uncle David) is married with two daughters, and both of my cousins are girls.  So basically he lives in a house full of women.  The one thing he looks forward to is the New York football Giants.  He even wears royal blue, high-top Chuck Taylor's when he watches games (amazing that he gets away with wearing such hideous sneakers while living with 3 women). 

Much of what he said can not be repeated (understandably).  But I thought of a practical analogy that could pass as appropriate...

Would you rather watch that 4th quarter all over again, or go through a prostate exam?
UD:  "Prostate exam.  Easily. ... [cannot be repeated]."

He proceeded to give me play-by-play of what was transpiring on the NFL network following the greatest collapse/comeback of the 2010 season.  It sounds painstaking to most, but I found it therapeutic and was mostly happy that he wasn't jumping off of the nearest building (that would put a damper on the 2010 Holiday season).  

Having gone through all of that, a Broncos win would have been nice - especially over the hated Raiders.  And although Tim Tebow looked promising at times, Denver is now 3-11.  But there is silver lining:  the Broncos are pretty much guaranteed a top-6 pick at this point because there's no way they're beating San Diego in week 17.  In fact, if they lose to Houston, they'll be a top-3 pick (Carolina, at 2-12, has the number-1 pick locked up with Pittsburgh and Atlanta remaining... Cincinnati is also 3-11 but pretty much has no chance of beating San Diego or Baltimore). 

So to sum it all up, my fantasy team got killed, my childhood team gave up 28 points in 7 minutes, and not even Tim Tebow could save the Broncos from a Jason Campbell-led Oakland team.  Oh and by the way, one of the pizza places in town put mushrooms on my barbecue chicken pizza.  Mushrooms have no business mixing with barbecue chicken pizza.  And I hate mushrooms more than Eagles fans.