11 News Special Report: Tame the Tantrums

By: Lizz Marrs Email
By: Lizz Marrs Email

GRAND JUNCTION, Colo. (KKCO) - Whether it's the terrible twos or a child who doesn't know better, having a well-behaved child doesn't just happen.

There's a lot of learning involved, for both parent and child but Professional Mom Kim Cannedy says making your children behave doesn't have to drive you crazy.

Cannedy says the majority of problems kids have stem from behavioral issues but that parents should be sure to rule out nutrition or mental disabilities first. She says there's "no such thing as a bad kid or bad parent, it's children who don’t know better and parents without information."

11 News sat in on one of Cannedy’s counseling sessions where
Mom Coni Anthony discussed some of the behavioral issues she's dealing with with her own children. “He just went off and the screaming and fighting started," she says.

Cannedy says you're not alone if your kids throw tantrums. "Every one of them has thrown a temper tantrum and are testing your limits," she says.

Here's a quick list of tips to Tame the Tantrums:
1. Set limits - Lay out the ground rules because as a parent you have to show them who’s in charge.

2. Follow through - Enforce consequences Cannedy says, “Then you have to follow through if you say no say no every time.” And make sure the consequence fits the problem. Don't ground a 4-year-old for 2 weeks for throwing food on the floor. Instead, it might be more suitable to not allow them to have dessert.

3. Deal with it the first time - Don't let the situations or your temper escalate. If you allow something to slide once then you are sending your children mixed messages. Cannedy says this is a common situation, where your child says "Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom!" and you respond with, "What?!" She says, "If you would have said, 'Yes, honey?' the first time, we wouldn’t have elevated."

4. Whining - Some children find their way to express themselves is through whining. Cannedy says whining children are tired children and when they whine they should be sent to their room until they find their happy place.

5. Grumpy hold - This goes along with whining. Cannedy says the Grumpy Hold is a way to let your children get their anger out while you are holding them and are in control.

6. Competition - Encourage positive competition. “It's ok for competition," Cannedy says. "When it gets ugly then it’s the nastiness that goes with it." Cannedy says ways to encourage positive competition are seeing who can make their bed the quickest, put their toys away and then give rewards for good behavior.

And if it’s hyperness that stirs up the competition, she advises high-energy activities and says you should make Energy Corners. "Put a mini tramp and let them get it all out," she says.

7. Support system - "Surround yourself with asupport system," she says. "The more we can support ourselves with moms groups, the better. Join MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and take part in park day."
Local mom Shayna Heiney says she gets support by “Calling another mom and saying 'I need help.' Or get on Facebook and blog."

8. Be a Parenting Unit - Cannedy says she didn’t raise her seven kids and 40 foster kids by herself. She says if you’re married, being a parenting unit and supporting each other in times of discipline is huge. Her husband John couldn't agree more, "Dads need to be as active in a situation and back moms up as can be.”
The Cannedys say if you disagree, do it in private and not in front of the kids. And remember you should always be a good role model for your children.

Cannedy says one set of rules might not work for every parent so do your research and figure out what works best for you. Don’t be scared to ask your support system for help.

Below is a link to Cannedy's Web site where mom's blog and ask for help.

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